Wednesday, July 18, 2012

this struck home

even though i didn't know this exact quote before today, i can say that it was the feeling i had when i compiled my 30before30 list and decided it just had to get accomplished.
just the other day, i had a long conversation about this with the husband...i got this overwhelming feeling of, "what will i be doing in 10 years?", and the thought kind of took over my brain. i have this thought every several months or so, and it always makes me just as uncomfortable as the last time. i didn't finish school, but was able to get a job that i love with a company that i love, which is wonderful, but...will i still feel this way after doing the job for x amount of years?
i'm well aware that getting a degree doesn't guarantee anything (several of my good friends have spent tens of thousands of dollars on a degree to now be working in retail), but the main reason that i didn't finish was because i could not decide on one career path. that's one thing i definitely got from my dad, the guy who's run 6 completely different (but successful) businesses since i've been alive. i'll never throw the going-back-to-school thing out the window, but i don't see myself being decisive enough to agree to spend thousands of dollars and not change my mind halfway through.
and when these thoughts start taking over the rational side of my brain, i have to remind myself that whatever job i'm doing doesn't necessarily define me. i'm the type of person that takes a lot of pride in my job, so it is definitely very important to me, but it's not the end all, be all. which is where my list comes in. when i'm old and wrinkled, i won't be telling people stories about my accomplishments at my job or how much i was getting paid...i'll be telling them about the trips i took with my husband, the photos i took that made me so proud, and the traditions we started together.
i posted several months ago about my dream job, and don't get me wrong - i'm still enough of a dreamer to work towards that. but for now (and for the realist in me), my 30before30 list is enough to appease me.

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